I will never write coming out as a skill on my a résumé, but at least I get it done. It never gets any easier, no matter how many times you go through it.
Coming out to my wife the felt like more of a process than an upfront confession. I mentioned it to her before proposing, and when she seemed against it, I decided to purge. She even came with me to drop off the boxes at a local thrift store. At the time she seemed genuinely sad. Part of it came from feeling like I used cross-dressing to hide my gender. The other part came from not wanting to take away from who I was. From that experience, I learned the important fact that I can change habits and hobbies; but I cannot change who I am.
Coming Out Take II
Today, I expressed a much deeper confession than mere cross-dressing. Unsure myself of how to describe it, I made my first mistake by putting the label ‘gender dysphoria’ on my feelings. That automatically sent up flags in her mind. She interrupted the conversation, and cleared her head for a bit. When she came back to the conversation, she wrote me a very explicit email.
The email detailed her feelings both on the topic of my confusion and for me. It reassured me that she would not leave me. She explained very thoroughly that as my best friend she wanted me to feel happy. However, she also pointed out that she felt no attraction for women. From there, she shared some very personal thoughts, and closed expressing her love for me.
Since then, we have shared several deep conversations. I feel selfish most of the time, because the conversations usually feel all about me. My wife makes up at least half of who I am. Her fears and feelings concern me as much as they do her. The decisions each of us make affect the other deeply and profoundly. I know and understand this, and is terrifies me. Knowing that, I can barely imagine the terror she feels about my feelings for her.